Sitting barefoot on the ice cold floor of the yoga room, we were singing praise and worship for what felt like the millionth time that week. I was mentally struggling, feeling awkward and incapable of connecting with the song we were singing. Surrounded by some of the most spiritual and amazing people I have ever met, I felt like such an outsider. These were people who told endless stories about healings and exorcisms they had witnessed and people they had prayed for. Needless to say, I felt a little out of my league.
As I sat tearing myself apart, the words Ephesians 1:2 appeared in my mind, as though God was whispering in my ear. I sat struggling for a moment, wondering whether my mind was playing tricks on me. Finally, i turned my broken in bible to the chapter and verse, reading, "Grace and Peace to you from God our father and the Lord Jesus Christ." My jaw literally dropped. This was the first time I had ever felt like the Lord was speaking to me, much less highlighting his grace over my flaws and spiritual immaturity. I still doubted him, thinking maybe I was making it up because CLEARLY god doesnt talk to little old me. But a still and small voice whispered into my mind, "Galations 1:3." I hesitated, and then turned the page and found the exact same verse, word for word.
My eyes teared up, and I was overwhelmed with the love of God. Instead of scolding me for wasting my time in halfhearted worship, the Lord granted me grace. Whispering in my ear, he comforted me, reminding me that I am worthwhile. I don't have to be good enough, because Jesus already was for me! All that stupid worrying about whether I was praying hard enough or looked Christian enough simply evaporated; I had the grace and peace of the Almighty Creator on my side. I am forgiven for the times I treated my friends like dirt or thought about a guy during church or made so many stupid, stupid mistakes turning my back on the one thing that gives me strength, my rock and salvation. I am FREE, and thats something worth celebrating!
