cazi
is the afrikaans word
for
friend.
cazi
is a word
i hope to never forget.
this month
i had eight cazis.
its the end. the goodbyes started
more than a day ago
as i left the middle schoolers
in tears
as i yelled fot kyyyyle (my
favorite three year old) one last time.
goodbyes started with ma and pa
and a last cuddle with ten year old xena.
goodbyes began in capetown
prior an eighteen turned into twenty four hour bus
ride back
to
joburg.
goodbyes began
in the living room
of a small house back
in the intense neighborhood flats
in elsies river.
goodbyes began with a cuddling session
alongside tabby and lindsey.
goodbyes began with tabby playing guitar accompanied
by her beautiful voice
the night before two nights ago.
&
now goodbyes are over.
the picture where i now sit
is completely different.
the room that just
yesterday was
filled with
my cazis
intently listening to my lame stolen
joke
about a mr cookie.
is now bare and cold.
my cazis
were erin
the professional harpist and
angel. the grace giver.
scotty too hotty
one of the most insightful people
i know.
roberto also know as papi
my funky puerto rican friend.
my cazi who sought me out
amidst my silent moments
and frustrations.
tabby or tabita as i
love to call her.
tabita – the leader . the
beautiful
and most amazing. tabby so unique.
annie-the speaker of truth
fifty questions annie
the canadian
the soft hearted one.
faith -dear faith.
the servant and dreamer.
the humble listener.
wesley the observer and seeker.
the incredible and loyal friend.
wesley
my strong and beautiful
cazi.
and
lindsey
my older sister.
lindsey who taught
me of a god who speaks loud and clear.
a god who shares. and loves
unconditionally. literally
for i am currently dressed in half
her wardrobe.
this morning
i woke up at five in the morning and said my final goodbye to the
leaving window van. a final goodbye to
team tandem.
i was so blessed to have been with this team
as it was. from now on team tandem
will be different. the squad leaders
believe tandem needs a restful change.
and tandem was
shifted into
another beautiful jigsaw puzzle.
this morning my team
left for the airport.
soon they will be on their way
to thailand
to serve in the red zone of sex trafficking
bringing words of encouragement
to fellow servants and
friends.
this month
i had the incredible opportunity to serve alongside team tandem.
i shared their heart aches and inside jokes and
experienced a glimpse of the world race.
my capetown experience may have just changed my life
forever.
i grew this month. i found
myself as a leader.
i even saw myself
as god always sees me.
this month i ached. i laughed. i shared. i wrote.
i played. i ran . but ultimately
i loved so hard and strong
that my heart is in a state of twisted tiles and shambles
as the last goodbyes were said.
the little girl who
said her goodbyes
in grand rapids and left for
africa
nearly a month ago
has gained a year or two.
this month i found my font
&
a part of my voice.
i discovered tolerance and love.
and even drove on
the wrong side
of the road.
this month i gave away
a large part of my wardrobe
but received
a vest
a northface
a cardigan
a pair of sweatpants
& a pair of green indian punjabi pants
in
exchange.
this month
i
changed. and with new eyes i will head to grand rapids
and lead like
i never have before
and speak
and listen silently like
i never did before.
this month i gained eight cazis.
and grew a year or maybe two.
this month
i saw god thru brand new
eyes.
oh gee.
this month
has forever
changed
this michelle.
